thinking is dangerous

Posting to MY BLOG

I am sick and doped up on nyquil and I have been recieving emails all
day from students who didn't like the grade I gave them on their paper
and they are all like "but I worked so hard on this shitty paper" and
I'm all like "suck it, bithces" and they are all "but I dont deserve
this grade and bithces isn't a real words" and I'm all like "talk to
the nyquil, foo" and they are all like "stop hitting me" and I'm all
like guzzling the nyquil right out of the bottle and I can feel it
coat my throat with mediciny goodness and it makes me invincible and I
can run fast and do anything for about 5 minutes and then it kicks in
and I have to go to sleep but then I get more emails from my students
and I have lost any self-control and the TA training has gone right
out the window several semesters ago and so I dont care any more and I
am all just blatantly discriminating on the basis of gender and race
and intelligence and personality and I dont let anyone who is more
attractive than G'ogle pass my class which means no body passes my
class including Shelia the Monkey girl who is called 'monkey girl' not
because her body is covered in hair or because of her opposable thumbs
on her feet but because of her prehensile tail which she uses to
balance and stabilize herself while she is crawling from tree to tree
and believe me it is pretty hot when she does that with her tail,
which is why i consider her more attractive that G'ogle even though
technically she is a monkey and my human seed cannot impregnate her NO
MATTER WHAT THE CATHOLIC CHURCH SAYS about contraception I know that I
am going to heaven where I can have unprotected sex with MOTHERFUCKING
ANGELS all the goddamned day which is sort of hard when you think
about it because angels dont have reproductive organs, or even bowels,
and it is just unclean to have oral sex with angels (because they like
to chew) but what the scripture doesn't tell you is that the skull of
an angel remains fractured just like a baby's skull, which means, and
I know you are like 3 steps ahead of me here, but for posterity: that
the best place to fuck an angel is right in the soft spot of their
head, right into their squishy brains, and if you get it right then
they tense up a bit, if you hit right on top of the brain stem, and
you can feel the little electric shocks of their little angelic
neurons firing all around your engorged member and brother it is
heaven, let me tell you.
00:31 :: :: eripsa :: permalink